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Stages of Social/Emotional Development

Stages of Development

Stages of growth for children throughout the world are universally similar though they may differ dependent on culture and how they are expressed. Physically, socially, and emotionally all children move through stages of childhood and development in similar ways.

Developmental milestones are a set of functional skills or age-specific tasks that most children can do within a certain age range. Your pediatrician uses milestones to help check how your child is developing. Although each milestone has an age level, the actual age when a normally developing child reaches that milestone can vary quite a bit. Every child of course is unique!

Developmental Tasks are the broad “jobs” of childhood that need to be accomplished in each stage in order for children to learn life skills at the appropriate times.

The tasks of one stage do not need to be completely mastered before a child begins the tasks of the next stage. However, the sooner he/she masters a task, the easier it will be to tackle the tasks of the next stage.

Children continue to work on most tasks throughout childhood, even though there is usually one stage at which one task is most prominent.

Why is knowing this important?

When you know what tasks your children are working on:

you can model and teaching the skills that will help them to successfully complete the “jobs” of their age.
you can be more patient
you will be less likely to blame yourself or your children when they behave in frustrating yet developmentally appropriate ways, such as:
all the “no’s” and not sharing of toddlerhood

the strict adherence to rules on one hand mixed with breaking rules at other times of school age children
the defiance, opposition and criticalness and peer focus of teens
you can affirm your children for practicing/mastering their developmental tasks.

Below are some developmental stages or patterns that are commonly seen in elementary school-aged children. Parents might use these to assess how classroom life at school fits the needs of their child, and to better help them understand their behavior at home.

Five-Year-Olds:

Learn best through repetition; need predictable schedules
May become stuck in repetitive behavior (such as drawing pictures of the same types of things) for fear of making mistakes when trying something new
Learn best through active explorations of materials and things they can touch and manipulate
May struggle seeing things from another’s point of view
Think out loud (will state what they are going to do before they do it)
Feel safe with consistent guidelines
Express thoughts through actions

Six-Year-Olds:

Learn best through discovery
Ambitious and motivated to learn
Enjoy the process more than the product
Beginning to understand past, present, and also how and why things happen
Like to “work”
Want to be first; competitive but enthusiastic; sometimes ‘poor sports’ if they do not win at something
Eager to do well
Thrive on encouragement
Can be bossy and easily upset when hurt

Seven-Year-Olds:

Enjoy repeating tasks
Like to work by themselves and finish what they start
May be bothered by mistakes
May change friendships quickly
Need security and structure; rely on adults for help and reassurance
Don’t like taking risks or making mistakes
Have strong likes and dislikes
Rapidly develop their vocabularies

Eight-Year-Olds:

Full of energy; sometimes do things in a hurry
Need physical release and ample outside play time
Enjoy socializing and sharing humor
Adjust better to change; become more flexible when faced with disappointment
Form larger friendship groups and love to work cooperatively (often with peers of the same gender)
Have limited attention span but become engrossed in activities
Enjoy responsibility
Show increasing interest in rules

Nine-Year-Olds:

More focused on fairness
Can be critical of self and others
Sometimes worried or anxious or seem moody
Better coordinated and like to push their physical limits
Beginning to see the ‘bigger world’ and able to manage more than one concept at a time

Reading to learn, rather than learning to read
Take pride in attention to detail and finished work but may jump quickly between interests
Like to negotiate
May be competitive on the playground

Ten-Year-Olds: